Fractured Heart

Once again the fragile fabric that helps adhere our relationship together -

 Mother and Daughter

- has been stretched almost irrevocably;

the frail framework splintered,

sending shards shooting into my aching heart.

A fractured heart that beats only for my babies and their babies.

I trod on a thousand eggshells

and tragically cracked one too many;

now, once again, I feel the wrath of my tortured first born.

So many times this has happened;

each time I pray it will be the last.

Hoping for forgiveness for something only she knows;

unable to stop or understand her need to hurt me.

Beautiful memories of proudly loving my eldest;

fending off her bullies, changing schools;

worshipping the ground on which she danced and skipped;

slowly nullified and blurred by a million tears.

Teenage years often painful, but how we laughed!

then cried for different reasons.

Accusations made, excruciating pain beyond belief 

for she hated me.

Never being right - Always being wrong,

yet feeling her misery

none-the-less.

I searched for months unaware that it was she

 who had instigated and orchestrated our separation;

amid hurtful, hostile lies.

Fifteen years on I still search for her;

the child I cherished more than life itself.

For she was my life

and now she wants me withdrawn from hers.