My Children - My World

My children hold the most important position in my life. My heart would not beat without them for they are so instrumental in holding it together and filling it with love.

To see them happy is of paramount importance to me and I have strived to do so since the day they were conceived. I had separated from their father in 1992 and the following five or six years had been a roller-coaster of emotions for all of us. Joanna, the eldest was a headstrong teenager who had been persecuted by bullies before we had moved away from our previous family home. This had made her very challenging when it came to disciplining.

There were many shouting matches between us, tantrums that I struggled to defuse and deal with, but I always felt that she respected and trusted me when I made certain demands for her improvement in behaviour within the new family environment. This was made frustratingly more difficult for me as it had become obvious that my two girls, although having only two and a half years between them in age, were never going to be close friends and confidants.

Almost from the day she was born, Jemma seemed to take an instant dislike to her older sister. Joanna would try to boss Jemma about and Jemma would physically attack her.

Despite reassurances from well-meaning friends, sadly, things have not significantly improved and the girls remain as different as chalk and cheese. The arrival of a baby brother four years after Jemmas` birth, did not bond the girls, they fought over him as if he were a favourite toy.

One memory sticks in my mind of when they both demanded he look at both of them at the same time! I despaired. Jemma was to win the baby brother war as they bonded from the start and are still very close emotionally to this day.

Jemma survived her life as the middle child remarkably well. Despite seeing the devastating effect bullies had not only on her elder sister, but also on us all as a family, she grew with an inner confidence to be admired. She would stand for no nonsense and was focused on her ultimate aim to be successful and independent. I once overheard Joanna proclaiming that she was going to marry a millionaire, to hear Jemma respond by stating:

“I`m not going to marry a millionaire, I`m going to be one!”

Jemma is an achiever, I can emotionally support her when she allows me. Joanna wants to be an achiever, but is easily distracted away from her ambitions and will seldom allow me to be instructive or emotionally supportive.

Charley is a combination of the two girls…………..an achiever who fiercly rejects my emotional input. He has been blessed with musical talent which allows him to travel the country as a professional singer.