Surplus to requirements as a mother

My youngest daughter is expecting her first baby.  She has been blessed with the ability to conceive and satisfactorily carry and nurture a new life for nine months in her womb. Each month has brought us excitably closer to the day when she will give birth and fulfil her dream of starting a family of her own.
Only one problem - for me - where do I fit in her new family?
 I must admit I have leant on her many times in the future for her wisdom, intelligence and sensibility, allowing her to ease and solve my various difficulties in her "no nonsense" manner.  I have relied on her too much when I have needed financial and emotional rescue.  She has not only pulled me from the wreckage but pointed and steered me in the direction of understanding and salvation.
I call her my angel and my conscience.  She is the sugar in my tea, my port in a storm, my knowledge and common-sense when I am lost in my turbulent world of contradiction, naivity and mistrust.
As the time draws closer to the most important day of her life, I want to be there; I need to be there.  I want to hold her hand, mop her brow, tell her not to panic, assure her that it will all be worth it when her precious baby enters the world and completes the happy contented world she has built with her husband.
But, I am surplus to requirements.  Only one person is allowed in the Maternity Unit and of course she has chosen her wonderful husband.  I planned to go regardless of the new rules imposed due to fears of the spread of swine flu.  I was prepared to argue my way in if need be, state my case as the prospective maternal grandmother.  Two of my friends have offered to have my son while I awaited the arrival in the hospital, but she doesnt want me there.  She doesnt want me to cause a stir, a scene.  She doesnt want to be worrying about me making a nuisance of myself and upsetting the hospital staff.

I feel surplus to requirements; useless, unwanted, hopeless, hurt so bad I have a deep ache in the pit of my stomach.  I have to be there!
Am I being incredibly selfish?  How can I stay away knowing my daughter is in pain, crying with pain, frightened!  I just cant!  Shouldnt she have her mother with her - why doesnt she want her mother with her? 
 I need to understand this - but its not all about me, is it?
 God help me!